Scottobear's Blogspot

2010-12-07T14:33:00.001-05:00

Get your Portable ID!

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xbox live gamertag – scottobear

steam – scottobear

Originally published at The Scotto Grotto. You can comment here or there.

2007-11-05T09:46:00.000-05:00

my regularly updated journal is at http://scottobear.livejournal.com

games people play... like me!

2007-08-24T15:55:00.000-05:00

2007-08-02T15:17:00.000-05:00

So, it's August... only a couple of weeks until BHK's birthday, Father in-laws birthday, and we're looking to have Emily over in a weekend - and then the all of the Newsoms over perhaps two weeks after that. Emily is about 5 years old now, and she reminds me of little bit of Wendy, way back when 9even though Wendy was maybe twice that age. I still remember acting like a monkey with for her, over a decade ago. Ook ook, extend the upper lip, scratch the noggin and the armpits, do a bowlegged walk... still brings a giggle to the young ladies. I doubt the Wendy would as be amused these days... she's got to be 21 by now? maybe 22? She's probably into more "grown-up" pursuits. I wonder how she and Marty are doing?

Thoughts for Emily's visit.. Baltimore Aquarium, Blink (maybe try Uno?), Walking on the Boardwalk / Beach, Playstation, Fireworks, and the Candy Store. None of those are set in stone and there are other possibilities, too.

Hey, it's August first! Happy Lughnasadh, the holy day of Lludd!
(If you celebrate it... I don't generally do so myself, but do like to say the word Lughnasadh. )

To celebrate, here's an agricultural pic from our garden, taken just this week.

Pepper pic from the garden - looks better large-wallpaper size.

No relation to the holiday, but also recently seen -

Also seen - Dump trucks while I was riding the subway at about 60mph

Been busy, have some game and book links, dear journal!

New joystiq review of Icehouse (also Enemy Chocolatier ), and as a result, found a place to play games online in real time.

You've got to download a small Java app (gamut ) (though they are working on an HTML implementation), but it's clean, quick and fun if you can find folks to play with.

Back to reading on my ride in the subway...until I find some tv show that BHK doesn't want to watch to put on the PSP. just finished Red Nails - getting my pulp fix on. Plenty free and legal to read here. Just scroll down to Howard,( Robert E. )

via uncert

"Turning Heat Into Electricity Through Sound": pretty much what it sounds like. A group in Utah has made a gadget where thermal gradients drive air currents that produce sound waves, which are turned into electrical signals by piezoelectric transducers.

"All-Optical Magnetic Recording: a Dutch group has written information onto a magnetic material using polarized light rather than the usual magnetic heads (like in a hard disk). This could potentially allow faster disk writing on smaller scales than can be done with magnets. Just think how small your next iPod could be...

1 year ago - sharks don't have knees, boiled eggs, yoga, map issues, Dave nose-operation, 4-sec frenzy, Theoi project, FOLEDs, grammar rock, man tosses a car, hungry ghost month, TS Chris

2 years ago - peaceful Sunday, Rufus Xavier Sarsaparilla, PB-J time, Grizzly Golf Attack is true, "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave."

3 years ago - Rob Shea Quote, appropriate for E-journals everywhere, I played with mercury, JL meme, music, Dave, Rain, Social entity, first hints at Mike-drama, search shortcuts, albinos of the 19th century, echolocation alarms

4 years ago - crazy dreams, Kate Bush, starmark poops but new gig, writing systems, non-castaways on gilligan's isle

5 years ago - istockphoto, dead links, Shitou Xiqian, smiled at, fortune cookie, walkerbot, Liver Eatin' Johnson

6 years ago - hungrybaby, New Apes movie lame, wiseacre, Champions stats for the Shadow, Dwayne Dibley?, Poul Anderson passes away, LJ moves in space

7 years ago - Everway character- wanders the storm path

please see my more regularly updated blog

2006-05-25T09:41:00.000-05:00

http://scottobear.livejournal.com

2005-01-17T22:43:00.000-05:00

I am Robot X!

2005-01-15T13:19:00.000-05:00

Steps at the museum of art

2004-09-07T22:15:00.000-05:00

run away!

2004-08-25T21:50:00.000-05:00

urban ruin

2004-08-25T21:49:00.000-05:00

Thanks!

2004-08-15T15:49:00.000-05:00

sky-smilie

2004-08-15T15:42:00.000-05:00

A little Anole, just hanging out. Howdy Lizard!

2004-07-25T20:08:00.000-05:00

Ach! Monday approaches too fast!

2004-07-18T18:10:00.000-05:00

miami seaquarium manatees

2004-07-18T18:09:00.000-05:00

baby manatee!

2004-07-18T18:08:00.000-05:00

Danger Turtle to the rescue!

2004-07-16T16:41:00.000-05:00

Shot from the metromover

2004-07-16T16:38:00.000-05:00

Until later on, anyhow. Will be updating more sporadically.

2004-07-10T18:42:00.000-05:00

vizcaya wall

2004-07-10T18:39:00.000-05:00

pool at vizcaya

2004-07-05T10:25:00.000-05:00

water damage to the lawyers signage outside.. too much heat and rain alternating too quickly.

2004-07-04T21:22:00.000-05:00

he's going to eat my braiiiin!

2004-07-04T17:37:00.000-05:00

They see all.

2004-07-04T17:34:00.000-05:00

vizcaya stairwell

2004-07-04T17:33:00.000-05:00

Vizcaya, phantom style

2004-07-03T09:24:00.000-05:00

Newt and I sleeping in.

2004-07-03T09:22:00.000-05:00

Waking up

2004-07-03T09:20:00.000-05:00

Newtiebaby!

2004-07-01T17:52:00.000-05:00

Caged energy. under glass to prevent chewing by a certain orange beast, no doubt.

2004-06-23T23:22:00.001-05:00

rabbit leaping over a bell. Why?

2004-06-23T23:22:00.000-05:00

stones under leaping bunny

2004-06-23T23:21:00.000-05:00

Kids playing on dolphins at aventurea mall

2004-06-20T08:13:00.000-05:00

Two of Cups, art nouveau tarot

2004-06-18T22:47:00.000-05:00

Newt peekin'

2004-06-18T22:45:00.001-05:00

better perspective as to where the coon was

2004-06-18T22:45:00.000-05:00

racoon in a tree by my apts

2004-06-18T22:28:00.000-05:00

Newt - monitor top today

2004-06-18T22:26:00.000-05:00

Tree out front getting verdant

2004-06-18T22:22:00.000-05:00

Vicki, Tom, & Cheri at the golf Tourney. They all got *really* burned about an hour later.

2004-06-17T17:23:00.000-05:00

Hmm.. it looks like my email rattles around the ether for up to 45 minutes before landing locally. I wonder if there's a way to fix that?

Upside, the new host spam-filters all those virus attatchments before they get to my sorting spot, now.

Regarding the whole "what do you do with a drunken sailor" song.

As far as I understand, 'Captain's Daughter' was a tool of discipline, usually either a lash or something similar. to "kiss the captain's daughter" (for light shipboard transgressions) was a light beating, while "put to bed with the captain's daughter" would be a beating until the sailor passed out from the pain.

(Related, if you're kissing the gunner's daughter, it means that you're being bent over the cannon for a flogging.)

Other misc - A Cat O' nine tails had nine lashes because superstition had it that a flogging by a trinity of trinties would be more sacred. The whip consisted of a handle made of rope about 3 1/2 inches thick in circumference & about 18 inches in length. At the end are fastened 9 tails made of log line with at least 3 knots on each tail. "Flogged around the fleet", a man was lashed in a long boat & rowed to each ship in the harbor where he'd receive 6 lashes per ship as all hands witnessed. The cat was aways put in a red bag to disguise the bloodstains... also giving new meaning of worry when "the cat's out of the bag"

Also, the term "poop deck" makes me laugh.

"Arr, Where be the Cap'n?" "He's right there, on the poop!"

I wonder what Danger Turtle is up to these days?

2004-06-17T17:17:00.000-05:00

Newton on the bed, first stillcam broadcast from palmtop camera via wireless.

2004-06-15T20:03:00.000-05:00

testing audio blogger

2004-06-14T21:01:00.000-05:00

presbychurch

2004-06-14T20:58:00.000-05:00

mayah and dave, 4/24/04

2004-06-14T20:56:00.000-05:00

Urban decay

2004-06-14T20:55:00.000-05:00

ally behind riverwalk

2004-06-14T20:53:00.000-05:00

lizard climbing today

2004-06-14T20:52:00.000-05:00

fishfolks

2004-06-14T20:49:00.000-05:00

done!

2004-06-14T20:48:00.001-05:00

step 3

2004-06-14T20:48:00.000-05:00

continued

2004-06-14T20:47:00.000-05:00

Resubmitting the slow curve sign by the bus stop

2004-06-14T20:45:00.000-05:00

Vicki looking bemused after the catalog photo shoot

2004-06-14T20:43:00.000-05:00

Lizard seen today, rendered psychedelic

2004-05-29T22:51:00.000-05:00

Post-apoc... Kamandiville

2004-05-26T20:56:00.000-05:00

skulker - vet trp a month or two ago

2004-05-26T20:55:00.000-05:00

cam software

2004-05-26T20:21:00.001-05:00

Leaving for the day

2004-05-26T20:21:00.000-05:00

To work and back again

2004-05-26T20:19:00.000-05:00

Leaping up

2004-05-24T22:57:00.000-05:00

Testing number 2

2004-05-24T22:54:00.000-05:00

hello... is this on?

2000-05-22T14:52:00.000-05:00

Hi Kids! Still getting my stuff in gear for the live journal thing... Once I polish a pic, and get more than 17 seconds to type to you, we'll be good to go! I hope you folks are having a better weekend than I've had... We lost one kitten a week ago to an intestinal parasite (We miss you, Fritz!) and now, Newton, my big orange pal has the same thing. Got him to the doc in a decent amount of time, though, so hopefully after the 10 days worth of meds he'll be feeling better.

I've got to get going, more to follow this evening though, for sure.

Love, Luck, and Laughter to you all.

Scotto

newton health update -

2000-05-21T23:11:00.000-05:00

weight - 136 oz

got parasite from Fritz - got meds.

A Legacy Begins.

2000-05-19T18:47:00.000-05:00

2000-05-19 19:47:56

Another LiveJournal is born. #3397. *plants flag*

So... now what?

good grief!

2000-05-12T08:44:00.000-05:00

May 12, 2000

So much has happened in the past 3 weeks. Where to begin? Hmmm.. I guess my first todo is apologize to myself (and anyone else who reads this sill thing) for not staying on top of it more diligantly. For what it's worth, I have a new program (action names) for the Palm, and it has a journal feature, so I can just scribble away whenever the mood strikes me.

I'll transcribe some of the meatier elements form there the next time I sync up at the house. Ok... now that the semi-pleasantries are out of the way... On to bigger news. AT has been staying with me at the apartment for the vast majority of the time these last couple of weeks. We went to disney with my friends the hippie-folk (whom I love dearly, the B's especially) and I finally met D's pal L. AT adopted a Kitten, and he's living at my place, too. Newton gets along with him ok, but plays too rough with him sometimes. New Kitten is black & white splotched, and is named Fritz.

My relationship with AT is going mostly well, but I did catch her in a deliberate fib to me... my feelings were hurt, and I confronted her with it... I don't imagine it'll happen again. For her sake, I still will assume a level of trust, but if it happens again, I don't know where my head'll be. I care for her very much, and I just hope I'm not too much more head over heels for her than vice-versa. Her relationship history has been rather rough, and I'm guessing that I might be the first worthwhile person she's had a relationship with. I don't think that she's too emotionally hurt to make for a good relationship, and I don't mind too much that we're going relatively slow. I think I caught a cold from her via PC (CP? not sure how to abbreviate the name.)

Going to see One flew over the Cukoo's nest with RC and AT this sunday, and DC/RH Saturday for a movie. Sat nite is AT and me at the hippies place for a going away party for DW... I'll miss her, she's a sweetie. She just got a great tattoo of a butterfly on her back that sister CB drew, has Kenya's name in it & a stylised "sister" as well. I have loads of pix from disney... and the butterfly is included in there (I hope it came out). That, and I gave AT a dried rose from the haunted mansion...

I walked into an ice cream parlor and saw this flyer for a rubber stamp party on the wall. It should be blamed for most of what you are reading right now. No matter how I picture the events of a rubber stamp party, It scares me to death. I can't explain the visions of madness in my head, but imagine a mariachi band made up of midgets building penis shaped sand castles and reciting welding part shipping lists. That's as close as I can come. The party's real bonus for me would be to hear the saga of Jo Ann Trail as she discusses her year in Saudi Arabia. She'll probably have fun anecdotes about the time she was sold for half a camel, or second hand stories from the nice old man she sat next to on the plane. Oh, I hope she dresses up in the black arab ninja chick outfit and brings those fun slides! All stupid shit aside, It should be painfully obvious to anyone that this is just a bad front for an Amway recruiting party. After JoAnn is done showing off her new toll painting, she exits and returns with a white board. Then she starts giving speeches about impending financial success while drawing a very convincing pyramid of circles. "It sounds fascinating! But can even an introverted person with birth defects like me make money with it?" asks the fat woman JoAnn paid twenty dollars to earlier. After a couple more hours of circle drawing and estrogen, the entire room signs up to buy a warehouse full of window cleaner. And JoAnn smiles to herself. She knows that 2% of the net profit from every ninth bottle of Windex gets split between her and only 132 other people. "I will soon be rich," she thinks out loud with a small cackle. The rest of the room is too busy planning their future summer homes to hear her. Anyway, after I read the flyer, I knew I had to have it. It was a few days old, but I thought it would be polite to ask the ice cream scooping girl if I could keep it. She looked like she spoke English, but I must have had to repeat my question four or five times. I've found there is no one more confused than a food service worker when you ask them about something that doesn't involve food. So after a series of blank stares and "ums," I asked the same question in frat. I said, "Hey, uhhh...could I get this flyer to help me and my frat fund our trip to Canada? I'm a Delta Iota Kappa, and we get like 25 cents? for every rubber stamp flyer we can find. Yeah, we're havin' a big rubber stamp rager this weekend. It's gonna fuckin' rule. Full kegs. Shit. You know, if you came, I could almost guarantee you'll get your tits grabbed. Here's one free sexual harassment card. What do ya think? Free beer for chicks. Bring like 20 friends." Something inside her finally started working, and she smiled and asked, "What frat again?" That's when I grabbed the flyer and leapt through a plate glass window to make my escape.

Urban league

2000-04-20T08:44:00.000-05:00

Apr 20, 2000

Somehow AT is making use of Urban league to pay for her school? I was under the impression it was an african american organisation, but perhaps it helps everyone in need... how refreshing that would be! AT is of british and Chippewaw(sp?) indian descent, maybe that's how it works? I would prefer it was more for someone that was part of a low-income community. I feel that's a more appropriate way of handling the situation. AT's been living at a very low level of income, at least for the last few months, changing now that she's found a better job at BOL in addition to the GT. more to follow... time for me to get back to work.

Thought.

2000-04-14T08:43:00.000-05:00

Apr 14, 2000

This was told to me be CB. It's pretty insightful, so I figured I'd share it. Whenever someone makes you feel hurt or angry, it is a gift. It is an opportunity to look in yourself and see *why* you feel that way. Because, in reality, nobody can *make* you feel anything. That person just triggered something inside you (probably from your past). When you feel the anger, it's an opportunity to look at that trigger and DECIDE how you want to react...instead of letting past issues make the decision for you.

Pilgrim's Progress

2000-04-14T08:42:00.000-05:00

Apr 14, 2000

Well.. let's see. Current projects are: Clean the apartment, make room for a visitor. (Visitors are something I've avoided competantly for the last year or more, as there's practically no room in the apartment. However, AT has no cable at her place, and roommates. So, if I plan to ply her with my masculine wiles and liberal applications of the cartoon network, I'm obliged to clean up the joint.) Hopefully I can ge the place pristine by Sunday. I must be gaga over the girl, as I want to steam the carpets, even. Who knows? I might even end up keeping the place not a mess for a while. (At least as long as I'm actively dating...) My only real dilemma is to find a way to store all my stuff! I seem to accumulate at a frightening pace all sorts of things specifically designed for Newton to smack around all over the house. (I still don't know how he managed to get my viking boat off of the top shelf of my closet to under my computer...It's totally unwieldy, and was behind other stuff up there.) In other AT news, date 4 went swimmingly, and #5 is tomorrow, and #6 is planned for Sunday already. I need to remind myself to call Emage and let 'em know that either I'll be missing them on Sunday, or maybe taking AT along for the ride. AT's not happy with her name, and was considering change... I rather like it, but her chosen alternates are good, too. I sort of dig Octavia as a name... Greek/Latin/Hebrew names seem to be my personal favorite. Rachael, Cassandra, Elizabeth all have nice sounds to them too, and have good nicknames. I'm still a little floaty from the additional dopamine, adrenaline, and testosterone in the system due to my current romantic interests. Some minor 'warning signs' have come up, but like anything else, all things are surmountable if folks are willing to put effort into a fix. Speaking of which, things are rather quiet on the AIM front, not sure where things stand there, given last week's quandry re:H. I'm assuming no worries, but the news front has been semi-quiet. More as I know it, Dear Journal. p.s. Got all the clothing I was looking to get, just need shoesies and maybe 2 more sets o'boxers. Type to you later, bub.

friday good stuff.

2000-04-07T08:40:00.000-05:00

Apr 7, 2000

on the upside, I got paid today, talked to AT every day this week, and saw movies with friends. Today's film was Rules of Engagement, with D as my co-hort. movie rated about a 5 out of 10, nothing dreadful, but not great either. I got close to falling asleep in the flick during one of the courtroom scenes, but I don't blame the movie, I'm pretty tired. Tomorrow I go clothes shoping with AT, before she hits work. I need some boxers, and a couple replacements for worn out pants/shirts. Sat nite, I'll probably catch the John Cusak flick, maybe take AT out after work too. Sunday is Stomp. I'm still surprised that it was easier to organise the hippies than emage into going to that, but it's just as well... half the emage gang would've missed out anyhow due to moving or family obligation. Elements of my dating life are coming back to haunt me, patterns that I'd forgotten. I'm eating less, waking up earlier in the day, or having mildly fitful sleep. Visions of unknowable futures of married life already in my skull, regardless of what I tell myself about "It's only been a week, you dingaling!" Fantasies of what's to come (or not) in the relationship, wondering what all of the parts of that are like. What would it be like living with her? If we had kids, how would they look/act? What side of the bed should I take? Does this mean I should get a car, dispite my misgivings? Things like that echo in my head, for hours on end, and I can't seem to shake 'em. I can conjure memories of her perfume and face at will, and my heart actually skips a beat when I do so. I feel giddy just typing this stuff out, and it cheers me beyond my earlier troubles with other folks, causing me to smile and anxiously count the moments until I see her again. I've discovered that she likes Ella Fitzgerald, Duke Ellington, Bjork, and assorted other less dissonant music than Korn, Kiss, and the Cure, including Jimi and Bowie, so the fear of mono-musicitis has been allayed. It's still goofy to me to be dating someone born after Star Wars was in the theatre, but she's quite smart, sexy, and emotionally together as far as my rosy-tinted radar can detect. All for now, I'm going to dawdle, and ponder her beauty some more. ;)

Friday. hmph.

2000-04-07T08:36:00.000-05:00

Apr 7, 2000

Well today has brought to me a few different things, some happy, some not so much so. It's come to my attention just a few moments ago that a friend of mine, H, is upset with me because of some things I've supposedly said. I'm at a bit of a loss. I have no idea what I might've said that got back to her... but I do know that I can be rather critical in my opinions of folks. That, and the particular circle of friends is not the best at maintaining communications. I think it might have been something regarding my lack of faith in her current budding relationship with another member of the gang. (for what it's worth, I hope that they get some happiness out of it, but my feelings are that the thing isn't grounded in the right sort of commonality. 2 very different people, different sorts of intelligence, different kinds of thinking. my suspicion is a desire for more physical comfort than spiritual/emotional. but what the hell do I know?) The thing of it is, I view everyone, including H as friends, and pretty good ones at that. downside, is that I think that H and R are both still functioning a little bit on the high school level of social interaction. I feel B has some minor insecurities, but he seems to bluster past them with big talk, which is fine too. A is a bit of a mess right now, but he's got a lot going on there, so hopefully he'll get it together. (months ago, I suggested he see a doctor about it, but he wasn't into the idea.) R, Hu, and K seem to be pretty smooth-sailing, for which I am grateful. I'd really like to find a way to keep everyone on the same plane of information, but I don't think it's possible, and without that, I think misinterpretation is going to keep happening, and folks are going to start getting more and more anxious. With the current switch around of the whole crew, and my time being more and more filled with outside activities, it might be for the best if I just gave this particular group a rest for a while. (not toss 'em as friends, I do like and respect them... but if this sort of nonsense keeps up, I'm going to have to do something more serious, because I'm tired of feeling like I hurt someone's feelings, or insulted them, but they don't want to give specifics. I can't defend against ghosts. I know how hard it can be, I've gotten a 'meanie' vibe from folks before, H included. Unforunately, my reaction might toss that vibe right back at folks, and I don't want to do that. I want to be the big, fuzzy, nice guy who knows a lot of trivia and gets along with everyone. Maybe that's too much to ask for.

Date the Second.

2000-04-07T08:28:00.000-05:00

Apr 7, 2000

Well, went to see road to el Dorado today, with my current Object d'amor. Hooked up about 2pm, got a warm welcoming hug, and I introduced Driver S to Date A. (S had her tubes tied yesterday, and was a bit crabby, but a good diplomat) We went to Einstein's and had a tasty lunch of Chicken Salad (her) and a Veggie Bagel (me) which was tasty, but I forgot to tell them to skip the onion. (Far be it for me to wish breath of death on a companion, so I picked them off). It turned out that the movie started late (only 3:00 show is on weekends.) but it worked out ok, we ended up mallwalking & shopping (I lack the male traits of shopping aversion, and direction getting fear) for about 2 hours, talking, making silly commentary about the stuff at TJ Maxx and Target. Oh! I must remember to remind B about good grill stuff at Target! Nuts, I have to finish my work here. Note to continue from. Got good snuggles, and held hands on cab ride home, farewell hug. No Kisses yet, but getting closer, Talking tigger, barbie horns, toys. etc.

Lord Byron interlude

2000-04-05T08:27:00.000-05:00

Apr 5, 2000

SHE walks in beauty like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies,
And all that's best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to the tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One ray the more, one shade the less
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress
Or softly lightens o'er her face,
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.
And on that cheek and o'er that brow
So soft, so calm yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow
But tell of days in goodness spent
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent.

Lord Byron, (George Gordon)

Scotto's progress.

2000-04-04T08:25:00.000-05:00

Apr 4, 2000

Well, Mr journal, much has happened. Saturday, A was at the theatre, and before I could figure out how to ask for her number, she offered it to me. Hoody-hoo! I think this Karma thing really works! Anyhow, We went on a date today, before I went in to work. She was Beautiful. (And was wearing platforms! I'd guess that she was about 6'2 or more in them. How wonderful.) She greeted me with a warm hug, and we went roaming around. (Both of us are without car.) We took a tour of the local amenities, Borders, the wacky clothes store (She's a shoe horse... with great taste in foolish footwear.) the Gay pride shirt shop. I discovered not without too much aplomb that she shares my sense of humor, political views and lifestyle sense. (in a nutshell, she's goofy & a wee bit crass, in favor of personal choice as long as noone is hurt, and no car) From there, we discussed all sorts of stuff, where she's from, pets, roommates (one of which is getting over chicken pox), tattoos (there's one, I'll keep it secret, but I did see it.) and two piercings (which, sadly, I didn't get to see, but hopefully on a future adventure.) She used to have a nose and eyebrow pierced too, but removed them so she could find work. (used to have pink hair too...I'd love to see what that looked like. her current crop on top is a pretty brunette.) She has a beautiful smile, and eyes I could look into for years. We took a cab to the mall, and got pizza and cherry cokes (She's got a poor-paying job, so was careful with my money, which I appreciate, but didn't sweat too much, I enjoy paying for meals and entertainment of my date) Apparently that was the first Pizza she'd had in like 6 mos, as she doesn't get to eat out much. We saw 'Final Destination, which was a nice silly horror flick, that allowed us to mock it due to the lack of other folks in the theatre. (we were about 1/2 of the population there, and we got in free due to her film connections.) Got some hugs in, and dropped her home, then went in to work. she says she'll ring me up about getting together later this week, I hope I'm not totally mistaken about her liking me. Mm-boy! It's good to be near & romantic a pretty, and intelligent woman.

Birthday loot!

2000-03-29T08:22:00.000-05:00

Mar 28, 2000

Got Story of the Ghost, a terrific Phish CD for my B'day from the Bohls. Probably my favorite Phish CD, a lot of thought and sound work went into this one. I'm very pleased... (Also got some keen smelling insense, Musk, cedar and another sweet-smelling one, to deflect stinky catbox.) I really did well. Looking forward to Stomp in two weeks, Disney in three. Ack... I need more time to gather my money after blowing so much indescriminately this last weekend. Official story 'helping a pal out with a blown transmission' (but I also tossed about $300 on partying away, too.) Ah well, broke is broke.

Recent stuff.

2000-03-28T08:19:00.000-05:00

Mar 28, 2000

All sorts of goodies have happened recently. Met some lovely girls in the last week or so. A good trend, and I certainly hope that it continues. E & A both work at an art theatre witihin a reasonable bus trip from my house. E is pretty, very charismatic and quite outgoing, willing to strike up a conversation at the drop of a hat. Made showing up early and getting stood up by the Emage crowd quite a pleasant experience, conversing with the both of them. A is more seemingly more knowledgeable, has a beautiful smile and fun wise-ass sense of humor. (I hope it continues to be fun... that sort of thing can get old if that's all a person can do, but I think she's pretty cool thus far.) In my pursuit of E, I begin to suspect that A is more my type. That night at the theatre, we all talked for about an hour before the movie began. (Rear Window... Great on the Big Screen, BTW). I shared pocky and cherry coke with the when the power went out, and got to spend a little more time talking with them. I went out with Cathi & Dave yesterday to see Ghost Dog (another really keen flick, I'm really beginning to love that theatre.) and A was there, but no sign of E. I chatted briefly with A, but she didn't seem to remember me much, probably because I was with other folks, instead of solitary. C,D & I went to Thai food after, and I decided to head back to the movies after to catch the green mile, and hopefully catch E's eye, and maybe chat the girls up a bit more. Sadly, E wasn't there, and I arrived just in time to run into the theatre to get going with the movie. I had to step out a couple of times, as I got a Drum of Cherry coke, and the green mile has approximately five urination scenes during it's three-hour length. I got up for that twice, the second time A noticed me, and commented... I replied "Lots of Pee scenes." She thought I said "Lots of Pieces" at first, and I don't even know what she might've thought I meant by that until I clarified. 20 minutes later, I got paged by Suzy. (Man, does she have Radar, or what?!?) And called her on the pay phone. A was still sitting on the bench there, looking a little sad, but I didn't have the wherewithal to talk to her after gabbing with Suzy about email for 5-10 min of my movie-time. I returned to the theatre, and when I emerged at the close, A had gone home. No guts, no Glory, Scotto. I am determined now to talk with A and get her digits, now. I went out with Dan on Saturday, and met 2 great gals too... S, who looked a little too much like Brittany Spears for my taste, and R, who I'm totally taken with. Absolutely beautiful. 5'11" in flats, in her heels she was about 1 inch shorter than me, and all in proportion. Short 'Dorothy Hammill' haircut, brunette, narrow build but completely feminine. Knows quite a bit about pseudoscience and quackery, which is a nice break from the new-agey oddness I seem to end up talking with when I go out and about. (Might explain why I find her nearly irrisistable, beauty, grace, height, intelligence, and common sense. If she has any tragic flaws, they're well hidden.) I fully intend on pursuing her more in-depth. The only downside of recent days was that yesterday I'd have liked to get together with emage-folk, but I didn't hear from them until late in the day (like 5/6ish) and I was already well into the hanging out with Bohl's, so that was out. Hopefully they're not offended, but I don't imagine so. They have an agenda of their own, and I'm only really included on the weekends.

Papal Apology

2000-03-16T08:17:00.000-05:00

Mar 16, 2000

The Pope apologized for all the sins of the Catholic church. Listen, Pope, after the school girl outfits you guys invented, I can look past a few crusades, witch hunts, and inquisitions. Don't focus on the negative things. I say next time you need to give a speech, don't even mention that stuff, and just have 2 or 3 hundred of your 17-year-old female students come on stage and do aerobics. Even if they had panties on, it'd be a better apology than some half-dead mumbling in a language I don't speak.

The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling!

2000-03-11T09:14:00.000-05:00

Mar 11, 2000

Chicken Littles or at least, those with the brains of chickens are scooting frantically about trying to warn us all that on May 5 of this year, The World Will End. They predict earthquakes, tidal waves, volcanic activity, flooding and even ice-cap meltage on a vast scale (or, as they tend to put it, "Earth changes", which is a term broad enough that it covers anything, pretty much, which of couse allows them to seem accurate). The reason, according to them, is that several planets in our solar system will be more or less in alignment, a pretty darn uncommon event in almost all circumstances. This alignment (or syzygy) will include our own Moon, the Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn and will actually encompass a little over 25 degrees of arc, which really isn't that significant to begin with. This alignment, according to the pebble-brained catastrophists, will result in huge gravitational tidal forces, which will of course result in... yep, "Earth changes". Never mind the fact that the computer terminal at which you sit as you read this exerts more gravitational influence on you than Jupiter does. There are plenty of idiots out there panicking over this, and when nothing happens, they won't learn anything; they'll find something new to panic about.

Thoughts on the 'Good Old Days'

2000-03-01T09:13:00.000-05:00

Mar 1, 2000

In China, they used to force intellectuals to spend a year toiling in the rice paddies and doing the People's Work. There is something to be said for that. Particularly if the People's Work turns out to be surprisingly rich and fulfilling. I think that's important... it seems to me that folks these days are more interested in the quick dollar and not too focused on what (in my mind, anyhow) should be more important. Quality of life and seeing new things in the world around you. I swear, these last few weeks, I've been thinking about things, and the reflections have been alternately horrible and wonderful. I've come to a realization that I have maybe one potential lifelong friend and even that one is iffy. My other pals will probably move on and fade out, as most people do these days. I partially blame the computer industry, breeding another race of nomads who think that staying at a company for more than 18 months is some form of stagnation. I don't get the mindset at all. I tend to have jobs that last years on end, my longest being 6 years long. (hey I'm only 31... I'm not old enough to have been at the same gig for 25+ yet.) While I'm unsatisfied with my current occupation, I do feel that when I find the one I'm interested in, I'd like to have it locked in place fairly permenantly. I'm the same way about my friends. I feel a certain loss of connection, when I realize that 2 years from now, I might not even know where most of them will be living. I think "Why bother making any connection at all, if it's just going to be severed once you make any progress?" Not only that, but there's a shallowness to some of the friendships that hurts, too. When I'm a friend to someone, I'll help them move a body. I suspect that some folks really can't be bothered to be called on in a personal crisis... and to me, that's what friends are. Someone that will be there for you and offer support, and you can do the same for them. Ah well, I take solace in the fact that I do have someone I can fall back on, and that I'm there for them too. It occurs to me that I don't know where any of the living remainders of my graduating class are anymore, I just hear about it months to years later when they die, usually from accidents. Well, enough whining, on to the good stuff. I take great comfort in knowing that when it comes to relationships of a more intimate nature, I think I have it mostly worked out. I have someone who cares about me, and I care about in a more romantic way, but it's not so close that we stifle each other, and not so distant that the caring is meaningless. A good mix, and not commonly come by. I think the trick is not to be too selfish, whether it's the "What I want comes first" or the "Let me suck your emotions dry" sort of sidekick, of which I've seen way too much of in recent months. It infuriates me when I see someone I know can be civil act like a selfish jerk, at the expense of someone else's well-being, and to someone who they claim to care about at that! I think it's the throwaway, thoughtless stuff that gets folks into the most trouble. That to me is a sign that you really don't love someone... I know that the person I'm with right now is caring, and thinks about what they say to express the right feelings to me, and I make a point of doing the same. Of course, breakdowns in communication can happen, but it can be kept at a minimum. Keeping lines of communication are very important, I've seen at least 2 marriages in recent years break up because they didn't let their partners know what was bothering them until it was too late. Another good sign that the folks are lazy, or at least more prideful than in love is the lack of interest in seeking council of an unbiased third party. I don't mean a friend of the couple, I mean someone trained to help both people get the best result of being together, or apart if that's what's best in the eyes of all involved. Hmm.. rambles. long story short. I'm lucky in love, but not in long term friendships. (outside of love, anyhow).

Dennis Miller Fills in for Scott

2000-03-01T09:12:00.000-05:00

Mar 1, 2000

It takes zero politically correct assholes to screw in a light bulb because they are all perpetually in the f*****g dark.

I want this on a T-shirt.

2000-02-24T09:08:00.000-05:00

Feb 24, 2000

What part of "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wagn'nagl fhtagn" don't you understand?

2000-02-19T09:04:00.000-05:00

Foucault's Pendulum

Feb 19, 2000

'Listen, Jacopo, I thought of a good one: Urban Planning for Gypsies.' 'Great,' Belbo said admiringly. 'I have one, too: Aztec Equitation.' 'Excellent. But would that go with Potio-section or the Anynata?' 'We'll have to see.' Belbo said. He rummaged in his drawer and took out some sheets of paper. 'Potio-section...' He looked at me, saw my bewilderment. 'Potio-section, as everybody knows, is the art of slicing soup. No, no,' he said to Diotallevi. 'It's not a department, it's a subject, like Mechanical Avunculogratulation or Pylocatabasis. They all fall under the heading of Tetrapyloctomy.' 'What's tetra...?' 'The art of splitting a hair four ways. Mechanical Avunculogratulation, for example, is how to build machines for greeting uncles.' (74) introduction The above quotation seems an apt microcosm of Foucault's Pendulum: at once amusing, bewildering, ironic, exceedingly intellectual, and eminently dislikable. Umberto Eco's novel, is a second expedition into the novel form by the Italian scholar and acclaimed author of Name of the Rose. This adventure is an detective story about a search for the center of an ancient, still-living conspiracy of men who seek not merely power over the earth but over the psychic, 'telluric' powers of the earth itself, and who in the end draw their pursuers into a circle (a pentagram?) where discovery of the truth is lethal. The story is inordinately difficult to follow -- its encyclopedic richness of historical detail breaks any smooth transparency of prose -- but it is not meant to be easy. Neither was The Name of the Rose, which became a bestseller, even if one wonders how many actually read all of it. Eco is an active scholar, and forges links between his academic and popular works. In a 1988 essay 'Dreaming of the Middle Ages,' the Italian identified ten types of nostalgic neo-medievalism. Number nine he labelled the Middle Ages of Tradition, 'an eternal and rather eclectic ramshackle structure swarming with Knights Templar, Rosicrucians, alchemists, and Masonic initiates;' that passage seems a prophetic formula for Foucault's Pendulum -- itself the celebration of the attempt to rediscover that world. If nothing else the work is undeniably 'eternal': the only reason the volume doesn't reach seven hundred pages is because Eco declines to finish it properly. It isn't even really a novel in the strict sense of the word, more a sort of formidable gathering of information, delivered playfully by a master manipulating his own invention -- a long, erudite (if often dry), joke. plot The novel as narration is put into the mouth of Causaubon, a scholar who writes his doctoral dissertation on the Knights Templar, and establishes himself a business in Milan, styling himself a kind of Sam Spade of information (a 'regular Joe' Mycroft Holmes? a lean, married, Nero Wolfe?). For a price, he will track down any fact -- even though he seems to know everything already (except that he is named for the scholar of George Eliot's Middlemarch, who also knew everything though it did him no good). He accepts a job as consultant for the Garamond Press, and joins Jacopo Belbo (a commonsensical Piedmontese companion) and Diotallevi (an ex-foundling Piedmontese, who fancies himself Jewish). These three spend most of their time drunk or bored, creating parodic word-games, and ridiculing anyone who takes himself seriously. Belbo's favorite sentence he saves for pretentiousness, 'Ma gavte la nata,' which means something like 'take the cork out [of his ass] and let the wind out.' These three -- 'clowns' is perhaps the best word for them -- in their research for a book entitled The History of Metals, advertise for manuscripts about the diabolical histories of secret societies. If the story so far seems to veer a bit, just wait -- it gets better. They decide as a game to feed all the hermetic plots that ever were into their computer. The results go beyond even paranoid fantasy: the unexplained phenomena of history, they find, can be fitted into a single, cosmic plan that embraces opposites, provide better interpretations than orthodox history has of certain past events, and reveals the greatest secret of history. What every major society of Europe, from the thirteenth century onward, has wanted -- Templars, Rosicrucians, Masons, Jesuits, even Nazis, we discover -- is control of the Earth's 'telluric currents,' the psychic forces which control the land, seas, and skies. The pre-Celts built Stonehenge; the Gothics erected immense cathedral spires; Eiffel contrived his tower. Why? 'What need did Paris have of this useless monument? It's the celestial probe, the antenna that collects information from every hermetic valve stuck into the planet's crust!' This, the ultimate conspiracy, synthesizes all possible conspiracies -- though the list is so comprehensive one wonders precisely who they're plotting against. No matter. A plot is a structure, a semiotic fabrication. Umberto Eco is a professor of semiotics, a grand master of codes, signs, and hidden meanings. The obsessiveness of the three Italians becomes contagious, and soon no single fact seems innocent. What is truly remarkable is how compelling 'the Plan' can seem, though the reader knows it to be false. It cannot be true; we watch, as the word processor groups together facts with its random number generator -- any resulting coherence must surely be accidental. And reading the novel, it is possible to watch the three become obsessed and irrational, fabricating unlikely 'ifs' in order to fit missing pieces. One feels exhausted when the puzzle's last pieces are fitted into place. 'Not bad, not bad at all,' Diotallevi said. 'To arrive at the truth through the painstaking reconstruction of a false text.' (459) the pendulum as analog Eco first heard about the pendulum (which swings in the Conservatoire des Arts et Mètiers in Paris) from a professor of civil engineering and architecture at Cornell University. The instrument, a twenty-eight kilo silver ball with a needle point, hanging by wire from a fixed point on the ceiling sixty-seven meters above, was invented by Jean Bernard Lèon Foucault (1819-68) to demonstrate the rotation of the earth; it swings perpetually, given momentum by the instability of the solid floor beneath it. The mechanism itself seems harmless, the confirmation of a comforting permanence, but turns sinister toward the end. Causaubon becomes irritated early in the novel by the indifference of passersby to the pendulum's miracle: Above her head was the only stable point in the cosmos, the only refuge from the damnation of the panta rei, and she guessed it was the pendulum's business, not hers. A moment later the couple went off -- he, trained on some textbook that had blunted his capacity for wonder, she, inert and insensitive to the thrill of the infinite, both oblivious of the awesomeness of their encounter -- with the One, the Ein-Sof, the Ineffable. How could you fail to kneel before this altar of certitude? (6) The poetry of the pendulum is the poetry of Eco's novel, and of history itself. One writes a novel as Causaubon, Belbo and Diotallevi write their 'Plan' -- in order to rewrite history -- a history in which they then become a part. The pendulum, privileged, looms over the lunacy, scorn, and fear of the world because its point of attachment, alone in the universe, is fixed -- wherever you choose to put it. This 'centeredness' so desired by the cabalists' metaphysics, by Italian scholars' cynicism, of poetry and history are only possible because of the force which maintains the pendulum. It takes over six hundred pages to get from our first view of the Pendulum to the last. These pages are crammed not with action but with information. I happened to be reading about fifteenth-century Venetian printers and was not surprised to find them there. If you want to know about the Gregorian calendar, or the theory that the Holy Grail is really St. Mary Magdalene, you will find it here. The book clearly needs an index. Perhaps Dr. Eco has already got his semiology students to work on it; as there was a little volume of metafiction to supplement The Name of the Rose, so may we expect something hermeneutic about its successor. But in the meantime, all three of Eco's heroes discover with alarm that neither their parody nor their new-found Plan can protect them from a universe ruled simultaneously by both and neither. Diotallevi first is diagnosed as having cancer, and moralizes on his deathbed: 'And what are my cells? For months, like devout rabbis, we uttered different combinations of the letters of the Book. GCC, CGC, GCG, CGG. What our lips said, our cells learned. What did my cells do? They invented a different Plan, and now they are proceeding on their own, creating a history, a unique, private history. My cells have learned that you can blaspheme by anagrammizing the Book, and all the books of the world. And they have learned to do this now with my body. They invert, transpose, alternate, transform themselves into cells unheard of, new cells without meaning, or with meaning contrary to the right meaning. There must be a right meaning and a wrong meaning; otherwise you die. My cells joke, without faith, blindly. Similarly Belbo meets an unpleasant fate, trapped by his own creation, the TRÉS conspiracy come to life and curious about his secret knowledge. In the Paris Conservatoire, at midnight, in the pendulum room, he confronts his fiction-turned-real. 'Now you will speak,' Aglie said. 'You will speak, and you will join the great game. If you remain silent, you are lost. If you speak, you will share in the victory....this night you and I and all of us are in Hod, the Sefirah of splendor, majesty, and glory; Hod, which governs ritual and ceremonial magic; Hod, the moment when the curtain of eternity is parted. I have dreamed of this moment for centuries. You will speak, and you will join the only ones who will be entitled, after your revelation, to declare themselves Masters of the World. Humble yourself, and you will be exalted. You will speak because I order you to speak, and my words efficiunt quod figurant!' And Belbo, now invincible, said, 'Ma gavte la nata...' The proximity of the pendulum's focus, the center of the universe, ennobles and melodramatizes both. Belbo is killed, magnificently, symbolically, hung by the wire of the pendulum. Causaubon's final monologue reflects the uncertainty with which he awaits his fate. conclusion But somehow, at the end, one is overcome by the nameless feeling of being in the presence of Bob, Pete, and Jupiter Jones rather than Dupin. The notion of equating a novel's mechanisms with symbolic or metaphoric machinery was throughly explored in the fifties and sixties by Player Piano and Lost in the Funhouse. While this novel is indeed very rich semiotically, the overall atmosphere is somewhat more amateurish than enthralling.

2000-01-31T09:03:00.000-05:00

CUrrnet TORG Char

Jan 31, 2000

ibis (ben siddig) gadget hero cosm/m/s/sp/t: nile empire magic12 social 20 spiritual 17 tech 21 desc.: 35, 6", 225 lb. shock damaqe: possibilities: 10 wound level: 1-OK stats: dex-10 maneuver str-8 tough-9 per-12 trick mind-9 test charisma-8 taunt spirit-11 intimidate move: skill: reality+2 spi 13 acrobatics+ dex 10 dodge+2 dex 12 fire combat+ dex 10 flight+ dex 10 lock pick+1 dex 11 long jump+ dex 10 melee wep+1 dex 11 running+ dex 10 stealth+ dex 10 unarm cbt+1 dex 11 climb+1 str 9 lift+ str 8 air veh+ per 12 evidence+1 per 13 find+1 per 13 scholar+3 per 15 trick+1 per 13 science+1 min 10 faith+1 spi 12 intimidation+1 spi 12 equipment: .38 revolver val 14 axiom lvl 20 rng s3-10, m25, l50 costume gadget belt (Flight 17) ammo tool kit oscilloscope parts 400 nile royals drama card: 0 0 0

2000-01-25T08:54:00.000-05:00

Proposed Law Would Imprison Aroused Men

Jan 25, 2000

JACKSON, Miss. (Reuters) - If you are a man who has difficulty controlling your sexual responses in public, beware. The eyes of Mississippi are upon you. The Southern state, long considered one of the most conservative in the United States, is considering a public-sex-and-nudity law with a provision that would make it illegal for sexually aroused men to appear in public. The bill, introduced by Republican state Sen. Tom King at the request of a constituent concerned about the behavior of patrons at strip clubs, defines nudity to include ``the showing of covered male genitals in a discernibly turgid state.'' Men who run afoul of the law could face up to a year in prison and a $2,000 fine. ``It will set some boundaries on what they (strip club patrons) can or cannot do in a community,'' said Forrest County Supervisor Johnny DuPree, who asked for a discussion of the question in the legislature. DuPree, who has opposed the opening of a strip club at a National Guard base at Camp Shelby, outside Hattiesburg, said the law also would help local governments combat indecent acts. Hattiesburg is located about 100 miles south of the state capital, Jackson. The bill, modeled on a similar statute in Indiana, has been sent to Mississippi's Senate Judiciary Committee for further review.

2000-01-16T00:13:00.000-05:00

84 oz

6th trip $182
spayed & declawed first time away more than 8 hours.
annoyed that they declawed without my permission

2000-01-13T08:52:00.000-05:00

Crack pipes

Jan 13, 2000

I don't know why people insist crack is bad. Listen to this: "A Florida man who swallowed 55 small glass pipes used to smoke cocaine was recovering after surgeons removed the paraphernalia from his stomach." The guy had gone into the hospital complaining of "severe abdominal cramps, heartburn, and indigestion. He apparently swallowed the pipes while high on crack and DID NOT REALIZE what he was doing. The glass tubes ranged up to 4 1/2 inches long." OH MAN. I admit I've swallowed my share of glass pipes, maybe 12 or 13 at the MOST at any one time. But 55! It's like Dimaggio's 56 game hitting streak, or Cy Young's 511 games won... it's a record that simply can't be broken. For lunch today... NO GLASS PIPES. I insist.

2000-01-10T08:49:00.000-05:00

Croatoan or Bust: Finding The Lost Colony

Jan 10, 2000

"My lost delights, now clean from sight of land, Have left me all alone in unknown ways; My mind to woe, my life to fortune's hand? Of all which passed the sorrow only stays." -- Sir Walter Raleigh

Twenty years before Jamestown, and 33 years before the Pilgrims, a magical group planted the first English colony in North America -- and promptly let it disappear into thin air. Ever since 1590, when Captain Cocke fired an unanswered signal gun off the shore of Roanoke Island, the fate of that Lost Colony has been an insoluble enigma. Is it any wonder that America is the way it is? The Old World can keep its maternally-inclined wolves and its giant-killing Trojan refugees -- occult conspirators built the United States on a foundation of High Weirdness indeed. The windup is easily told; in 1584, Sir Walter Raleigh received a charter from Queen Elizabeth I allowing him to claim any territories in the New World that he explored which were currently outside the rule of "any Christian Prince." Raleigh, his mind on the Spanish colonies in Florida, sent expeditions to find a convenient anchorage to use as a piratical base -- and if they could find gold, so much the better. Raleigh's second expedition, in 1585, planted a colony of 110 men on Roanoke Island (on the coast of North Carolina) which the 1584 expedition had mapped. By the next year, they'd managed to irritate the local Indians enough that they were in some danger of starvation. The colonists took advantage of a fortuitous visit from Sir Francis Drake and boarded his ship en masse to return to England -- two weeks before Raleigh's resupply expedition arrived to find the first colony gone. Raleigh's third expedition, in 1587, included women and farmers, and only wound up on the by-now unpalatable Roanoke Island because the ship captain Raleigh hired was too eager to go pirating to carry the colony up the Chesapeake to its planned site. The Spanish Armada interfered with the next supply ships, and by the time Raleigh could send a relief expedition, the colony (including Virginia Dare, the first English baby born in America) had vanished. Some of the colony's supplies had been looted by the Indians and others had been carefully buried (like the cannon and some chests of books). On a tree at the colony's gate, the word "CROATOAN" was carved into the bark; the letters "CRO" were cut into another tree near the moorage. Croatoan was the name of a nearby island, with a different (and friendlier) tribe of Indians, but Cocke's ship was caught in a storm and never got around to looking on Croatoan Island. No convincing trace of the Lost Colony ever turned up, although the Jamestown colonists put a great deal of effort into looking, spurred on by rumors of "gray-eyed Indians" in the area. It's equally likely that Roanoke was wiped out by Powhatans, that the colony uprooted itself and died trying to march north to the Chesapeake (their original destination), or that the colonists got sick of copper mining for Raleigh and "went native," interbreeding with the Indians. North Carolina's government recognizes a local tribe of Lumbee Cherokees as the "Croatan" Indians -- they have last names like "Dare," "England," and other surnames of the Lost Colonists. "We are half persuaded to enter into the journey of Sir Humphrey Gilbert, very eagerly whereunto your Master Hakluyt hath served for a very good trumpet." -- letter of Sir Philip Sidney, dated 21 July 1584, a year after Gilbert's disappearance But that's less fun -- although many of the Croatans joined the runaway slaves in the Great Dismal Swamp as part of the Seven-Finger-High Glister" hoodoo society therein. Mass faerie or alien abduction sounds much cooler, as does (in a darker mode) the appearance of some shambling Cthulhoid entity (named Croatoan?) out of the aforementioned Great Dismal Swamp. Simple time-space distortions along the lines of the pretty much directly-east-of-Roanoke Bermuda Triangle can also be invoked, and they'll also explain the "ghost ships" seen on Albermarle Sound west of Roanoke, and why Verazzano thought that Albermarle Sound was an arm of the Pacific that led straight to California (itself a fairyland of legend -- no, really). The Bermuda Triangle scenario might also involve or explain or at least spice up the disappearance of the explorer Sir Humphrey Gilbert in mid-Atlantic in 1583. But it's to Gilbert's younger stepbrother, Sir Walter Raleigh, that we turn now. "O paradox? Black is the badge of hell, The hue of dungeons and the school of night." -- William Shakespeare, Love's Labour's Lost, IV:iii:253-4 Raleigh makes a dandy figure in any tale of Elizabethan intrigue, conspiracy, magick, action, or wonder. In History, he was a pirate, an alchemist, a grandstanding gigolo turned conspirator, and one of the leading lights of a group of occult and "atheistic" students known as the School of Night. Other Schoolmen included Henry Percy the "Wizard Earl of Northumberland," Christopher Marlowe (born in 1564, the same year as Percy -- and Shakespeare and Galileo), John Dee, Arcadian poet Sir Philip Sidney, and other poets, mathematicians, alchemists, and explorers. Before Percy joined the group in the early 1590s (and moved its headquarters from Raleigh's house at Sherbourne in Dorset to Percy's euphoniously named Sion House in London), its leading aristocratic figure (besides Sidney) was the too-wonderfully-named-for-words Lord Fernando Strange, the Earl of Derby. Lord Strange holds yet another qualification -- he may have been the first patron to employ William Shakespeare. Shakespeare's Love's Labour's Lost, which tells the story of a band of aristocrats (led by a "King Ferdinand") who withdraw from the world to study arithmetic, astronomy and geometry (cabala, astrology and magia), may have been a coded reference to the School of Night -- or it may have been written as a private performance for them, and encoded certain arcana within its discursive allusions. The School spins plenty of threads to follow for occult fun and games. Frances Yates postulated that the magus Giordano Bruno may have founded the School during his 1583-1584 sojourn in England. Percy's Sion House headquarters recalls the Prieure of Sion, as does Sidney's poem Arcadia. For this and other reasons, people who find proto-Masons find them riddling the School. In this connection it's interesting to note that the first confirmed record (1575) of Raleigh's whereabouts in adulthood places him at the Middle Temple, former Templar headquarters in London -- and that the Roanoke colony was supposed to carve a Templar cross in a tree (rather than a cryptic island-name) as a warning of danger. Marlowe's Faustus can be seen as a reaction to what he learned from Dee and others in the School, as can Ben Jonson's The Alchemist -- or they can be seen as plays encoding occult truths for the elite, disguised as horror or satire. "There, whether yet divine Tobacco were, Or Panachea, or Polygony, She fownd, and brought it to her patient deare Who al this while lay bleding out his hart-blood scare." -- Edmund Spenser, The Faerie Queene, III:vi, 32 One thing the School liked was tobacco, Raleigh introduced it in court, and Marlowe and his crowd made it popular in lower society. Tobacco, of course, is the primary crop of North Carolina and Virginia. The Indians saw it as a magical plant, and Spenser identifies it as a healing herb in The Faerie Queene (where he also identifies "fruitfulle Virginia" as Faerie -- more evidence for our Roanoke abduction scenario, although it's beginning to look like Raleigh set them up). Most tribes used tobacco as a means of shamanic communication with the gods (alien ultraterrestrials? fae nature spirits?). The magick of tobacco is somewhat outside the pale of this discussion (although I've always found it interesting that Jean Nicot, discoverer of nicotine, shares a name with the Basque vegetation god Jannicot -- and that the Basques have legends of transatlantic travel to magical islands), but it's worth noting that some tribes scattered tobacco on the water before taking a journey by sea -- an apt magick for an occult School including Raleigh, Drake, and Hakluyt to learn. Other vegetation themes work in the interstices of the Roanoke legend. The name itself echoes two trees -- Rowan-Oak -- of central importance in Celtic lore. (The name "Roanoke" actually comes from an Algonquin word meaning "place of white shells," but bad linguistics makes good occultism.) According to Robert Graves' delightfully daft The White Goddess, druidic lore attaches great meaning to trees, using them as coded letters. Rowan-Oak is Luis-Duir, the quickening fire and the gateway of kingship. Birth (in fire) and gateways (in empire) -- a more than adequate "baptismal name" for America. "The opening of the 'new' world was conceived from the start as an occultist operation. The magus John Dee, spiritual advisor to Elizabeth I, seems to have invented the concept of 'magical imperialism' and infected an entire generation with it . . . The Tempest was a propaganda-piece for the new ideology, and the Roanoke Colony was its first showcase experiment." -- "Hakim Bey," T.A.Z. So what exactly is the Grand Conspiracy of Roanoke? The first expedition, made up of occultist-scientists like the "English Galileo" (and Mason -- or builder) Thomas Hariot (who, speaking of linguistics, assembled a dictionary of Algonquin which has unaccountably been "lost") on orders set down by the Welshman John Dee (master of Druidic lore who identified America with Atlantis), established the occult soundings and ley lines of the island. The second expedition had to establish Arcadia, a gateway colony to create the New World in an alchemical marriage between the Red King (Powhatan, or the Indian sachem who stole a "silver cup" from Hariot's ship) and the White Queen (Elizabeth, whose name became the land's, as Virginia, while Spenser tied her to Faerie as Gloriana in his poems) to bring about the Golden City. In Love's Labour's Lost, the four nobles wed four ladies from over the sea -- in black, red, white, and gold -- in alchemical sequence, in other words. In 1587, the stars were right as Neptune (the planet governing the "tides of history") was on the cusp between Cancer -- the moon, the Virgin white goddess, patroness of the School of Night -- and Leo -- the fiery king. And the colony arrived at the island of the Rowan-Oak (the fiery birth gateway) on July 22 -- the cusp day when the sun itself is between Cancer and Leo, and the day before the Day of the Dog Star, when the Egyptian calendar celebrated the New Year. In other words, a powerful magickal date for beginnings. The colonists dug mines (as Warden of the Stannaries, Raleigh supervised the ancient tin mines of Cornwall -- did he cut a deal with the tommyknockers therein?), and after the birth of Virginia Dare (a new gateway -- Virgin Duir) -- the Lost Colony completed the gateway. Did it succeed? Well, a new and golden empire was born in fire (and in the sign of Cancer, on July 4). Did the gate (and the Colony) go where the Scholars of Night thought it would? To Faerie? To Calyferne/California, as one of Dee's maps showed? Or to somewhere else? Go through it, and just hope it doesn't lead to the voodoo altar where the sacred Basque tobacco smolders before mighty Croatoan.

2000-01-03T08:48:00.000-05:00

The Death of Libraries

Jan 3, 2000

I heard something disturbing over the holiday weekend. While riding back from a night out with my friends, one mentioned that she needed to go to Barnes & Nobles, and she wondered if they had a copy machine. When I asked her why she would need a copy machine at a book store, she explained that they had a medical reference book there that she needed some information from (my mom's a nurse). The book is very expensive, so she can't afford to buy it, and she only needs the one article anyway. I took this opportunity to point out that there are these big buildings called libraries, and that they're full of books that people can read and sometimes even take home without paying a dime. "They don't have it," she said. "I can only find this book at the bookstore." I was floored, to say the least. When I was growing up, the library was like a second home to me. I pedaled my little one-speed bike down to the local branch library every week, it seemed, and in high school I actually worked in the city library. But the more I thought about it, I realized I hadn't really browsed the stacks of a library in years, not since, oh, about 1994. Which, by the way, was the year I discovered the web. I know why I don't go to libraries any more. Between MemoWare and Peanut Press and downloading everything else via iSiloWeb, I don't have a shortage of things to read. I have an overabundance, actually, with the equivalent of tens of thousands of pages to read on my computer right now. We're talking about nearly three times as much as War and Peace (which I can and will once I read enough to free up the room on my shelf it takes up). But what really surprised me is that my mom doesn't go to libraries either, and why. Big superstore book chains like Borders and Barnes & Noble are replacing the library in America. In virtually all of these places, you have comfortable couches spread throughout, and most of them sell gourmet coffee as well. They practically scream, "Come in, browse, make yourself comfortable." Rare is it that bookstore patrons are hassled into making a purchase or leaving, and I've seen more than few read entire magazines over their coffee, put the magazine back on the rack and leave. How's a library going to compete with that? What's more disturbing though, is the title availability. While I'm sure my pal could find the information she's looking for on the web, she's not that net savvy, so that leaves print. The library doesn't carry the book she needs, but several bookstores here do. The decision has been made for her. The library is obsolete, following the buggy whip into cultural obscurity.

1999-12-20T08:45:00.000-05:00

Ave Maria... neat memory

Dec 20, 1999

Quoted From friend Mojo - The best version I have ever heard was live in a church in finland. The church is about a thousand years old ( probably less ) and is gigantic. There are Swedish/ Finnish Kings and Queens buried under the floors and in special areas and tombs in the Church. When you walk in the church you can't even see the Altar. My sister, her family,Steve and I were in the church doing the tourist thing and all of a sudden someone started singing Ave Maria unaccompanied. It was so powerful. He was singing without a mic and it sounded perfect. Finally we found him, the altar it self was almost a separate chapel. And there we saw a little tiny christening ceremony in progress. there were 5 people, the baby, the pastor and the man singing . The power of the moment was so overwhelming. Here in this gigantic historical church where Important historically significant people are buried in the floor and the walls . The sheer size and age of the church is moving much less when the voice of one man singing Ave Maria carries through out . The only people in the church were us and the 7 people and the baby. Yet we were privliged to experience the welcoming of a newborn soul to the kingdom of god. So beautiful And yet so humbling. The moment was so pure and so moving. There were no fancy robes, no fancy gold and jeweled religious paraphenalia, no 50 person chorus, no charismatic preacher, no one asked us for a cent. Just a man singing Ave Maria acapella and a small family celebrating the christening of their new arrival. And we were fortunate to be there to witness the moment. If there has ever been a moment that I would consider to be a religious experience , for me personally, that would have to be it.

1999-12-20T00:14:00.000-05:00

$65

5th trip

62 oz

broke 4 lbs, looks long and lean.

1999-12-16T08:44:00.000-05:00

Cold Miser Song...

Dec 16, 1999

I'm Mister White Christmas
I'm Mister Snow
I'm Mister Icicle
I'm Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser, What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch I'm too much!

He's Mister White Christmas He's Mister Snow
That's right!
He's Mister Icicle
He's Mister Ten Below
Friends call me Snow Miser, What ever I touch
Turns to snow in my clutch

I never want to see a day That's over forty degrees I'd rather have it thirty, Twenty, ten, five and let it freeeeEEEEEEeeze!

He's Mister White Christmas He's Mister Snow That's right! He's Mister Icicle He's Mister Ten Below Friends call me Snow Miser, What ever I touch Turns to snow in my clutch ... too much.

1999-12-16T08:41:00.000-05:00

Heat Miser Song...

Dec 16, 1999

I´m Mister Green Christmas
I´m Mister Sun
I´m Mister Heat Blister
I´m Mister Hundred and One
They call me Heat Miser, What ever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch I´m too much!

(Chorus) He´s Mister Green Christmas
He´s Mister Sun He´s Mister Heat Blister
He´s Mister Hundred and One

(Heat Miser) They call me Heat Miser, What ever I touch Starts to melt in my clutch
(Chorus) He´s too much!
(Heat Miser) Thank you! I never want to see a day That´s under sixty degrees I´d rather have it eighty, Ninety, one hundred degrees!

(spoken) Oh, some like it hot, but I like it REALLY hot! Hee hee!

(Chorus) He´s Mister Green Christmas He´s Mister Sun
(Heat Miser) Sing it!
(Chorus) He´s Mister Heat Blister He´s Mister Hundred and One
(Heat Miser) They call me Heat Miser, What ever I touch Starts to melt in my clutch I´m too much!
(Everybody) Too Much! "Oh, some like it hot, but I like it REALLY hot! hee hee!"

pleases me tremendously. Any song with hee hee is all right. See? There's a little touch of the tard in me. I just struggle to fight it.

1999-12-15T08:38:00.000-05:00

Berg, the place I'm named for.

Dec 15, 1999

Berg former duchy of the Holy Roman Empire, on the right bank of the Rhine, now in the administrative districts of Düsseldorf and Cologne in Germany. In the 11th century the counts of Berg came into possession of Westphalian lands east of Cologne. From 1161 these were divided between the senior branch of Berg and the junior branch of Altena (later Mark), which acquired the countship of Cleves in 1368. The Berg line nearly became extinct with the assassination in 1225 of Engelbert I the Holy, the third member of the family to hold the archbishopric of Cologne, and the title passed to the House of Limburg. In 1288 Count Adolf V began to develop Düsseldorf (later Berg's capital) as a port. A member of the House of Jülich, Gerhard VI (died 1360) married the heiress of Berg in 1348; in 1380 his son William was created duke; and in 1423 Duke Adolf also inherited Jülich, thus uniting the two duchies and associated lands. When the male line became extinct in 1511, the territories passed to John III, duke of Cleves. Berg became a leading iron and textile manufacturing centre in the 17th and 18th centuries. In 1806 Napoleon made it a grand duchy in his Confederation of the Rhine, with his brother-in-law Joachim Murat as grand duke. Berg, along with Jülich, which had been annexed by the French, became part of Prussia's Rhine province by award of the Congress of Vienna in 1814-15. And now you know why I might hate the French, aside from the very basic nature of all humans to hate the French.

1999-12-15T08:36:00.000-05:00

Today at work...

Dec 15, 1999

I came terribly close to being fired today. Due to a breakdown in communications, terribly rude people, and my own temper. During the course of the day, I was continuously called upon to act as a liason between two departments that only have a cursory relation to what I do at work. I started out polite, but slowly was worn down to just civil. (I'd say I was at about five out of ten, tolerance-wise.) After doing some data clean-up and minor programming, (my actual job) I get a message from K. "Just checking to make sure this file was done properly, I couldn't give D an answer, mainly because I didn't know." No problem, I'll call up D and clarify, and get information on other data in the meantime, killing two birds with one stone. She responds with nonsensical questions, and general venom. It boiled down to her angrily stating "Why Don't you answer my questions?" and my reply of "Ask one, and I'll give you an Answer..." She responded with some sort of epithet and hung up on me. (One of my buttons is "Don't hang up, Don't turn your back on me while we're conversing. I need good closure to any talk.)At that point, I saw red, and trotted over there at top speed and proceeded to Bellow, along the lines of "Don't you dare hang up on me..." to which she responded with "How dare you talk to me like that?" and it proceeded to snowball into a volley of verbal noise. After a moment or two of yelling, I basically told her to shut up if she couldn't say anything intelligible, and she told me to get out. So I got out, with a parting remark of "Do all of us a favor, Eat $#!+ and die." She promptly calls the boss, and he bounces to an impartial third party. Long story short, I get a reprieve due to D's long history of poor social intercourse, and mine of being more possessed of my senses (save for this current adventure.) So, I don't get fired, but it looks like the raise (of which i've been due since June) is no longer going to be considered for a while. Bah.

1999-12-14T08:31:00.000-05:00

rambling in general

Dec 14, 1999

I've been thinking a lot lately about my current friends, where I am in my life, and theirs. It seems to me that most everyone I know that is married has dire and immediate need for council. Fearing for the future happiness of my buddies is currently one of my stronger stresses, now that my Taxi-driving pal's world is pretty much in a state of decent repair. What can I do to help these guys? All I can offer is a friendly ear to the troubles they have... and for what it's worth, it's gotten bent once or twice, and I've been allowed to add my personal observations and viewpoints, hopefully to make the life they end up choosing to be as pleasant as possible. This also feeds into a fear of mine regarding where I'm going to be relationship-wise in the coming years. Finally back on track, seeing three circles of friends on a regular basis and even dating regularly. I really don't want anything to happen to foul it up. I've made a number of mistakes in the past, and don't plan on repeating it. I still compartmentalize my friends, perhaps on a sub-c level to protect them from each other, should one social bubble burst, I still have the other fall-back places. Hippies, Gamers, girlfriend, coworker-pals and best friend all have some sort of invisible wall between them. Newton is the only one that's crossed all of the lines, and that's ok... he's unlikely to let a confidence slip, or misinterpret what is said in moments of unclarity.

Hm. Maybe I should list what's on my mind, make this mess more legible? Why not?

1. Non-single pals having *REAL* trouble in what should be wedded bliss.

2. The turbulence at work. Will I get a new job, or adapt to this one? Can I get decent hours, now that I have a social life.

3. Money. Never seems to be enough to help those in need and I can't afford all the Yuletide cheer I wish to distribute this year.

4. Pressures to get a vehicle. Nobody has said anything yet, but don't want friends to be terribly put out by the fact that they have to pick me up if I'm to hang out with them.

5. Growth. I think it's time to clean up my act, and start preparing a bit for the future. I could survive a minor trauma, but if anything major happened to me right now, I could easily be homeless, broke and totally out of luck. All for now, I'm getting tired. Talk to you soon, and regularly.

Neato poem, stuff

1999-12-13T08:27:00.000-05:00

Reading: Russell Banks's Affliction Poem of the day! Eating Poetry

Ink runs from the corners of my mouth. There is no happiness like mine. I have been eating poetry. The librarian does not believe what she sees. Her eyes are sad and she walks with her hands in her dress. The poems are gone. The light is dim. The dogs are on the basement stairs and coming up. Their eyeballs roll, their blond legs burn like brush. The poor librarian begins to stamp her feet and weep. She does not understand. When I get on my knees and lick her hand, she screams. I am a new man. I snarl at her and bark. I romp with joy in the bookish dark. --Mark Strand

Do you ever have overwhelming urges to do strange things? Walking over to the 7-11 to get some SpaghettiOs for lunch (what, you think because I'm vegetarian I'm concerned about my health or something?), I saw a brand new shiny silver VW bug and suddenly just wanted to go over and lean on it face first. Just give it a big old hug. Luckily I managed to control myself. (Not sure what the owner would've done, seeing a hairy hippie guy snuggling with his car. (A cohort has a blue beetle... maybe he'll let me hug it.) I did freak some guy out a few nights ago. I was walking home and was engaged in a lively conversation in my head about why I hate the movie Vertigo. Right as this guy was walking in front of me I just said "Vertigo" out loud. He kind of flinched, looked at me and then away quickly, and hurried off. Hi. My name's Scott and I'm a freak.

sleepover

1999-12-13T08:20:00.000-05:00

Argh... I just discovered that typing online into a form gets wiped if you refresh on my system. bah. brief recap of what was originally long. Had a lot of fun last night, watched movies, Mummy, Indy 1 -&- 2 with RC,HI,RI,BG -&- the Kitties. Lots of sugary snacks, fun gabbing, and first time RC had seen Mummy. Newt came with me, and played with his sister for about 26 hours, give or take naps, made schedules for future playdates. I have to get Xmas stocking stuff for everyone.... plus the big gifts, plus B-day stuff for DC and BG. I'll be so happy when February comes... start recharging my bank account. Main upside of last night, much Kitty-fun, hanging out. Downside, chronic cough, trouble breathing, RC thinks I may have chronic bronchitis. I need to go to the doc Monday, and have it checked out. I hugged RC's Bug, and had tasty cheese enchiladas for dinner! Qute of the moment... reflecting on coming elections: "Television preacher Pat Robertson, who plans to officially announce his candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination next month, said he would not tolerate atheists in his administration, Time Magazine reported yesterday. ...Although Robertson firmly denied a quote attributed to him that only born-again Christians and Jews should hold government jobs, he told Time that nonbelievers would have no place in his administration if he were elected." [San Francisco Chronicle, 21 September 1987 (UPI)] (Right around the first time I voted, For Bush no less. Remember I'm from Massachusetts...Dukakis was not going to be on my list.) I can't believe I've been voting for over 10 years, now... an Adult. Make me feel old, when I talk to some of the young folks where I work... (18-24 range). Now, I'm only 30, but these guys don't know anything about The significance of the Berlin Wall coming down, or who G. Gordon Liddy is, or even what Reagan was like as a president. Pop Culture seems to have overwritten recent history. Even most of my fellow EMAGErs don't have a terribly strong grasp of recent history, when it comes to the last century. I don't know if it's the educational system, or a question of who's priorities are more right... but I agree with the cliche' "Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it." Not only that, but of the people I hang out with, only 3 of us vote. (including myself) Why don't people take more interest in the world around them?

time of year, work folk

1999-12-11T08:23:00.000-05:00

It's questionable just how philosophic one should get on December eleventh. It's too early for any sweeping statements about the end of the millenium or even the end of the year. I don't even know what kind of month it's going to be. Still, it's December, a month loaded with the spore of philosophical thoughts. Being the last month of the year gives it a weight that September, say, never has, (although September does have Back To School going for it). You are inclined to think about what you've done over the last year, or, far more likely, what you haven't done. I actually feel as though I've made some significant accomplishments this year. But this feeling is dampened knowing that my pal S feels exactly the opposite. Different outlooks, different milestones. The ultimate goal is the same, though, in that neither of us really know what the ultimate goal is. There is unity in ignorance. All the same, it's only the 11th. Time to accomplish more. Time to stop worrying about it. Time to figure out how I'm going to pay for Christmas. Wacky new girl at work, G. Nobody else seems too fond of her. P especially, but F and R are kind of negative about her too. I think P's problem is that there's another hen in the henhouse, and she won't be the only one fawned over in there anymore (like that's going to happen.) G's from mixed stock, mother is from Trinidad, and father is Chinese Jamacian. It comes together in a really appealing package, looks quite asian, with slightly darker than gold skin. Hyperkinetic to the extreme, it will come in handy when she learns to focus. (right now she hops from machine to machine, feuled on starburst, twix, and soda coursing through her veins at about the speed of light.) with the right knowledge, she'll be all over any jobs that come her way. Still a little scattered, but quite a little flirt, too. (probably why I'm more forgiving than the rest, I've always been a sucker for an unmarried pretty face.) Now that my time with S is coming to an end, I'd be happy to chase G for a bit, at least until she makes a point of saying "No, I don't think so" . Still waiting on my raise... only been due since june, and I know there won't be any retro pay. bah.

1999-12-11T00:15:00.000-05:00

52 oz

4th vet trip

$62

broke 3 lbs.

1999-11-21T00:16:00.000-05:00

36 oz

3rd vet trip

$120